What to Do if Your Teen Refuses to Go to Counseling

What to Do if Your Teen Refuses to Go to Counseling Psychotherapy Print What to Do if Your Teen Refuses to Go to Counseling By Amy Morin, LCSW facebook twitter instagram Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do, and a highly sought-after speaker. Learn about our editorial policy Amy Morin, LCSW Updated on January 02, 2020 Tetra Images / Getty Images More in Psychotherapy Online Therapy Some teens are happy to go to therapy. They enjoy talking to an objective adult who can assist with some of their problems. Not all teens are on board with therapy, however. And convincing a reluctant teen to go to counseling can feel like an uphill battle. It leaves parents asking questions like, Should I force my child to see a therapist? Can I bribe my kid to go? Should I just give up on the idea of therapy? If you suspect your teen has  a mental health problem, behavior disorder, or substance abuse issue, treatment is important. There are several things you can do to help your teen get the treatment he needs.   Should You Force Your Teen to Get Treatment? Dragging your teen to see a counselor isn’t likely to be effective. After all, how  comfortable would you be talking to a stranger if someone forced you to do it? A teen who feels forced to get treatment isn’t likely to be motivated to change.  So even if they get dragged to their appointments, they arent likely to talk about their issuesâ€"at least not in a productive manner.   Thats not to say you shouldnt make it mandatory that your teen attend at least a few appointments. Sometimes, a skilled therapist can help a teen feel more comfortable after a few a sessions. And sometimes, a teen who tells you he hates therapy or that he doesnt need help, might be talking openly to a therapist. He might just not want you to know that he actually likes therapy. Of course, there may be times when your teen needs help regardless of whether he agrees. If hes at risk of hurting himself or someone else, call 911 or take him to the emergency room. If hes engaging in risky behavior, like hes drugs, treatment should be mandatory because hes not capable of making healthy choices on his own. How to Bring Up the Subject With Your Teen If you think your teen might need counseling, the way you bring up the subject is very important. The first conversation you have will likely set the tone for your teens attitude about therapy. It’s common  for teens to be embarrassed by their problems and it can be hard for them to admit they need help. So its important to avoid sending a message that could cause him to feel ashamed. Dont imply your teen is crazy or that shes not smart enough to make good choices.   Instead, share why you think counseling is important and how it could be helpful. Ask for input from your teen and be willing to listen to your teens opinions. Say something like, I wonder if it would be helpful for you to have someone to talk to besides me. Or say, I dont always know how to help you with problems so I wonder if it could be helpful for you to talk to someone who works with teens. Talk to Your Teens Doctor Whether you are concerned about possible ADHD, or you think your teen may have depression, start by talking  to your teen’s primary care physician. A doctor can assess your teens needs and help determine whether your teen needs counseling. If further treatment is necessary, a doctor can identify the most appropriate services and treatment professionals for your child. Even if your teen isn’t willing to attend those services, understanding your options and resources is important. If your teen isn’t willing to listen to your recommendations about how counseling can be helpful, he may be willing to listen to his physician. His doctor may be able to explain how counseling works and how treatment could address the symptoms. Options if Your Teen Refuses Counseling If your teen refuses to go to counseling, don’t despair. You still have several options about how to get help. Seek counseling on your own without your teen. Often, parent-training can be one of the most effective ways to help teens.  A therapist may be able to teach you how to coach your child. If your teen knows youre going to counseling to talk about him, he might also be interested in going to share his side of the story.Speak with your teen’s school guidance counselor. Discuss whether there are any services available within the school system to help your child. A teen who wont meet with a counselor outside of school may be willing to speak with a guidance counselor.Create a contract with your teen.  If its a mild issue that youre concerned about, create a contract with your teen. Tell your teen he has to go to a certain number of sessions, such as five, before he can make a decision about whether to continue treatment.  Consider online counseling. Sometimes, teens who wont speak to someone face-to-face will consider talking to a therapist online. Online treatment isnt appropriate for e very condition so its important to talk to a therapist or your teens physician about the potential pros and cons before you begin treatment.   What to Do If You Suspect Your Teen Has a Mental Illness